So as none of you know, I am advocating for my dad to get some health care benefits from the VA. He faithfully served the country in the Gulf War. I have been researching the gulf war syndrome, and believe with all my heart he is suffering from this mostly unknown syndrome.
I have been researching and fighting my way into the system for a little over 3 weeks now, and have learned the hard way how difficult the process is. For three weeks my calls have been ignored by the hospitals who do the "gulf war registry health exam." I have called 9 hospitals and 2 patient advocates with only ONE of the hospitals answering the phone to snobbily inform me that my wait would be 6 months long after she got around to being able to put me on the wait list.
I was nearly in tears when I talked to a really nice woman in a hospital in a neighboring state... yes I was that desperate that I would drive 5 hours to get this exam. I'm only in town for 4 months and cannot take my dad to an appointment in 6 months. I need this now.
She told me we were out of their zone, and I would have to call back my local hospital and threaten to call the news on them. She made me laugh when she told me I needed to "take on that attitude to get some results."
This really made me think about how things work in this life. How many time have you heard of people calling and chewing someone out to get what they need? SO many times. It's how people get results these days, they give someone a "piece of their mind" in order to be respected.
I don't respect that. I don't ever appreciate or respect people who take that attitude with me. I have NEVER had it in me to get mean with anyone, even people who really deserved it.
So the point of this long story is what happened next.
As I sat there trying to muster up the umph in me to threaten someone with the news and yell at them, trying to dig that out of myself somewhere, I thought of something else.
I thought of how I wouldn't want to ever be spoken to in a way I was getting ready to speak to someone. I decided to try out being sweet as sugar first. I called the lady who told me 6 months and was sweet as cherry pie.. I told her I needed it sooner and if there was anything she could do to help me I would greatly appreciate it and what do you know! She referred me to a very nice man who got me the forms I need to be in for a visit in 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS.
I learned a valuable lesson in the HELL that is trying to get someone at the VA to listen to me. kindness matters. Kindness wins. People respect kindness. And most of all, you can respect yourself a whole lot more when you know you're being kind rather than angry and mean, EVEN IF it's well deserved anger and meanness.
Be kind.
Trendy Wife.
